[ Titan's balls, it can't be healthy for anyone to feel this level of emotion. He imagines this is akin to being next to a volcano experiencing imminent eruption. ]
We can, if you think it might help, but in fact it was an offer to answer any questions you might have. I know what you academic sort are like.
[ Again, an answer that doesn't clarify much for Estinien. If he focuses on G'raha though, on the bright burst of his emotions like biting into an especially ripe fruit, under that pervasive, twisting feeling, there's a faint flutter akin to the feel he has leading into a fight. This, on the other hand, clarifies a great deal more to him. ]
Ah. Then the issue is that there are people with whom the kisses meant a great deal.
If I did not wish to entertain this conversation, G'raha, then we would not be having this conversation.
[ Cetainly, if G'raha is getting anything through the bond it'd be some minor exasperation but that's about it. Estinien is not known for sticking around when he does not wish to. ]
Though I will admit that romance [ it is romance they're discussing, yes? ] is not a field I have a great deal of familiarity with.
[ Romance is not a field he has ever come within spitting distance of but that is neither here nor there. ]
[ That is true. Estinien isn't one to suffer fools, even if the fool is G'raha. The bit of irritation is a little difficult to separate from his own anxiety over all this, as it's easy to attribute to his own frustrations. ]
Neither myself.
Though in the end, it really shouldn't matter. I let my emotions get the better of me in the moment and should not have allowed myself to expect something else.
We kissed, as was expected of the mistletoe as you're well-aware. I may have pushed for it longer than I should have. Longer than necessary for the spell to be broken. He was the one who was forced to end it and then we resumed our day as if nothing had changed.
I can't help but notice that at no point in this story did you or this man exchange words to the effect of 'I would like to kiss you' and 'I am not interested in kissing you'.
[ He wonders if this is what it is like to go mad. ]
I should hope so. Let us consider the facts: you kissed a man for whom such a thing meant a great deal to you. He kissed you back and you kissed for longer than strictly required to appease the mistletoe. At no point did he say 'I do not wish to kiss you, G'raha'. After the kiss ended you then spent the rest of the afternoon together. What has led you to believe you have been rejected?
Was he just...completely projecting his insecurities on the entire situation without really thinking about what Eliot had been showing him? G'raha apologized, Eliot waved it off...and they did just. Continue.
If he really had been off-put, he could have ended it there. G'raha assumed he was just being kind. ]
You're speaking sense and I am a fool.
I assumed because his first attempt was so short and ineffective, that it meant he just wanted to get it done and over with and I had pushed a boundary. And then I apologized afterwards.
[ G'raha can probably feel how amused Estinien is right now. In actual fact he's laughing at G'raha's series of messages. ]
You'll hurt my feelings.
[ At least what he's getting from G'raha has eased up. Still there but less twisted. This version of the emotion is almost fun. At least, when he's the one to blame for it. ]
Of course, if this man does reject you then we can revisit the idea of running someone through with my lance.
[ He can and it really isn't unwarranted. At least because of the conversation they're having, he doesn't take it as hard as he might otherwise. G'raha is being...very silly. And Estinien is being very patient with him.
He does laugh. Finally. ]
I would truly be the fool if I did.
[ He had no idea the former Azure Dragoon was so well-versed in the realm of romance. Perhaps he should have been, considering what he believes was the relationship between Estinien and the Lord Commander.
(Or maybe Count Edmont was just a supporter in his writings...hard to tell.) ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
We can, if you think it might help, but in fact it was an offer to answer any questions you might have. I know what you academic sort are like.
no subject
It's not as if I have NO experience. I may be a Tia but I have had sex!
1/2
no subject
Then kissing under the mistletoe should be a straightforward endeavour for you.
no subject
no subject
Ah. Then the issue is that there are people with whom the kisses meant a great deal.
no subject
Yes. An astute conclusion.
I'm acting the fool, aren't I? I am sorry to burden you with this, even if unintentionally.
no subject
[ Cetainly, if G'raha is getting anything through the bond it'd be some minor exasperation but that's about it. Estinien is not known for sticking around when he does not wish to. ]
Though I will admit that romance [ it is romance they're discussing, yes? ] is not a field I have a great deal of familiarity with.
[ Romance is not a field he has ever come within spitting distance of but that is neither here nor there. ]
no subject
Neither myself.
Though in the end, it really shouldn't matter. I let my emotions get the better of me in the moment and should not have allowed myself to expect something else.
no subject
You were rejected then?
[ Nailed it. ]
no subject
Well.
We kissed, as was expected of the mistletoe as you're well-aware. I may have pushed for it longer than I should have. Longer than necessary for the spell to be broken. He was the one who was forced to end it and then we resumed our day as if nothing had changed.
Gods, I sound like a teenager, don't I?
no subject
I can't help but notice that at no point in this story did you or this man exchange words to the effect of 'I would like to kiss you' and 'I am not interested in kissing you'.
1/2
no subject
...Though I understand your point.
no subject
I should hope so. Let us consider the facts: you kissed a man for whom such a thing meant a great deal to you. He kissed you back and you kissed for longer than strictly required to appease the mistletoe. At no point did he say 'I do not wish to kiss you, G'raha'. After the kiss ended you then spent the rest of the afternoon together. What has led you to believe you have been rejected?
[ Is he... missing something here? ]
1/2
Was he just...completely projecting his insecurities on the entire situation without really thinking about what Eliot had been showing him? G'raha apologized, Eliot waved it off...and they did just. Continue.
If he really had been off-put, he could have ended it there. G'raha assumed he was just being kind. ]
You're speaking sense and I am a fool.
I assumed because his first attempt was so short and ineffective, that it meant he just wanted to get it done and over with and I had pushed a boundary. And then I apologized afterwards.
no subject
no subject
1/??
[ Let his shame bleed out of him, tyvm. ]
no subject
no subject
4/4
To clarify.
[ WHY DOES HE SUCK AT EVERYTHING (UNSEXY) ]
no subject
You'll hurt my feelings.
[ At least what he's getting from G'raha has eased up. Still there but less twisted. This version of the emotion is almost fun. At least, when he's the one to blame for it. ]
Of course, if this man does reject you then we can revisit the idea of running someone through with my lance.
no subject
He does laugh. Finally. ]
I would truly be the fool if I did.
[ He had no idea the former Azure Dragoon was so well-versed in the realm of romance. Perhaps he should have been, considering what he believes was the relationship between Estinien and the Lord Commander.
(Or maybe Count Edmont was just a supporter in his writings...hard to tell.) ]
Thank you. You are a true friend, Estinien.